I’m not going to lie, August’s birth story isn’t all butterflies but I can tell you it ends with a rainbow. I say this because as many of you know I experienced a miscarriage prior to this pregnancy. So, my baby boy is now considered a Rainbow Baby; a healthy baby born after a miscarriage (you can read that here –> Our First Pregnancy). I want to shed light on my experience to possibly help others or at the very least get my memory in writing for myself. I’d also like to remind you that I’m not out to scare anyone with my story because every pregnancy is different; This post is merely a story.
During the last month of pregnancy, most moms have said that they ‘just want the baby out’. It has nothing to do with hating pregnancy but you’re tired, it’s been a long 9 months and you just want to meet your new little bundle of joy. That being said, at 38 weeks I was READY especially after my doctor mentioned to me that I hit ‘full-term’ at 37 weeks. I actually didn’t mind being pregnant; I was just so obsessed with the idea of meeting baby August that I started to get restless. What will he look like? How much will he weigh? What will labor be like? How will I react when he arrives? So many questions and thoughts going through my head. It definitely puts a lot of strain on you the last few weeks of pregnancy.
Day 1
It was Sunday, January 3rd, I started to feel some cramps in the morning but didn’t really think anything of it. At around 2pm I started experiencing them again but this time they were happening consistently. Zach had asked me if he should start timing them but I said – “no, I don’t think these are it.” As the night went on, they started to get more painful and more consistent. The pain of these ‘cramps’ were manageable however they were extremely annoying because of how consistent they were. The closer they got together the more frustrated I got. I finally ended up telling Zach that it was time to record them. Part of me was definitely a little nervous… was this really happening?
We began recording these ‘cramps’ or what I will now refer to as contractions in the late evening when we were trying to go to bed. I was told that early labor contractions can feel like strong period cramps and I can honestly tell you that my period cramps do not feel like those did. Am I lucky that I’m used to mild cramping or were those contractions THAT much worse to deal with? Throughout the entire pregnancy we were told about the 5-1-1 rule which determines when you are in active labor and ready to go to the hospital. The 5-1-1 rule is: every 5 minutes you get a contraction lasting 1 minute and those lasts for 1 hour. When Zach started recording they were happening every 7 minutes for approximately 30 seconds each and lasted over an hour. I also couldn’t move or talk during this contractions. Because the contractions were close to the 5-1-1 rule and they were so painful we decided to call the doctor.
We knew that this wasn’t the recommended 5-1-1 but wanted to call to get a doctor’s input. This was our first baby. After calling the doctor’s office – we were told that it was… too early. They recommended taking a bath to help me relax and if that didn’t help to take Tylenol while getting some rest… Cue side eye and pursed lips. My contractions were so consistent that there was no way I was sleeping and on top of that the doctor told me that if they were ‘truly’ labor contractions that the Tylenol wouldn’t work. Super helpful. She also told us that they recommended the contractions to be every 5 minutes lasting for 1 minute for 2 hours instead of 1 hour like the class and OB said. Yikes.
She mentioned they could schedule an appointment with the clinic to get my cervix checked. A little background – I was at 1 cm, 2 weeks prior to this, so I was definitely eager to see what these contractions were doing. We stayed up all night and scheduled an appointment for 10am at the clinic. The contractions started slowing down so I needed to know what was going on.
Day 2 – Monday January 4th
Even though ‘days’ weren’t really a thing to us at this point I’m structuring it that way because it makes most sense. Zach took me to the clinic to get my cervix checked to see how far along I was – 2cm. I was flabbergasted because I thought for sure with all the pain I was having that I would be MUCH further along than 2cm. For those of you that do not know – your end goal is 10cm. That being said, I had a ways to go. After being told that and knowing that you could be at 1-2cm for weeks until you get to labor contractions I was pretty upset; pregnancy hormones started kicking in.
The doctor wanted us to listen to baby’s heart rate to make sure that he wasn’t stressed due to the contractions. So, after such a long day Sunday, I had to then sit with this monitor on my belly to track baby boy’s heart rate. As much as I love hearing his heartbeat, it took forever! For several weeks at this point, the nurses and doctors had been telling me that I was all baby which apparently meant that there wasn’t any fluid or fat in there with him. That being said, I expected the heart rate monitoring to be a breeze but when they put these heart monitors on me, baby boy was moving so much that the process took much longer.
After the clinic appointment, I started getting more stressed because of all the uncertainty associated with the process. We went home and these contractions were no longer consistent until (again) the late evening. I started to google (of course) what this all meant. Are these even labor contractions? Are these Braxton Hicks contractions? Or – am I making this all up? I ran across something that’s called false labor. The difference here is that false labor can be consistent and appear like labor contractions. According to my research, they can last anywhere between a few hours to a couple weeks. Googling things during a very difficult time is well, never really a good thing. Doing this put me in a downward spiral – I started to imagine myself dealing with these ‘contractions’ for several days if not weeks and I could not deal with that.
As the contractions started to get closer together again we called the doctor’s office a second time because we finally got to the 5-1-1, but not the 5-1-2. Not surprisingly, they said the same things – take a bath, rest, or take Tylenol. IF I didn’t want to try these remedies, they did say I could go into the hospital but there would be a high chance that they would send me home. So – I took a bath. I’m not a bath person. I find them really dirty but, I did it because I felt like I was running out of options. I don’t think it helped at all. I felt uncomfortable and still stressed.
As the night went on, I started researching what could help get labor started. I wanted to do anything to get it going so it would not last weeks on end. I walked around the apartment, ate spicy foods, bounced on the exercise ball, and drank raspberry tea (which apparently was supposed to begin several weeks earlier). I didn’t feel like any of that worked. I kept thinking to myself that I was never going to get through this and I would take anything to ease the pain. At a certain point I decided that the contractions I was experiencing were not Braxton Hicks. Braxton Hicks contractions are not consistent and tend to go away when drinking water or after changing positions. It was clear to me that I was in false labor.
Knowing (or at least feeling like) I was in false labor made the process 10 times worse because I didn’t know how long it was going to last and when we could go to the hospital. I also was confused because I didn’t think that they would be that painful. Moms talk all the time that contractions hurt but I’ve also seen them work through them by dancing, laughing or just enjoying themselves. I, on the other hand, was crying, angry and wanted it all to be over. Being that it had now been over 24 hours since it all started (with no sleep) we were stressed out, and another restless night was ahead of us. The contractions were getting closer again but not to the point we needed them to be until about 12:30am. The contractions were 4-5 minutes apart for over a minute long, all lasting an hour. Zach was timing them and this time didn’t really care that they hadn’t lasted the full 2 hours that was recommended. We called again; FINALLY it was go-time.
Day 3 – January 5th, Birth Day
It’s 1:30am, Tuesday, January 3rd and I’ve never been so happy for someone to say, ‘ok, it’s time to go to the hospital’. Luckily, Zach had put all of our hospital bags in the car Monday night in case we were going to the hospital then. So, we grabbed our last minute items and headed to the hospital. The car ride felt long but was only about 20 minutes. We arrived, parked in the ‘expecting’ parking spot, grabbed a few of our bags and headed inside.
First thing’s first, we had to get the COVID screening done; we passed. We didn’t know where we were going since we weren’t allowed to do a hospital tour so a security officer pushed me in the wheel chair while guiding us there. We checked in; Here’s a TIP: Make sure you have secondary contact person like your parent or someone close to you listed on your file. (I’ll explain more on this later) We got to our room which we would find out how far dilated I was. But first, I was required to get a COVID test – OUCH. Let me just say that the whole pregnancy I was more afraid of getting the COVID test than of actual labor. I know, strange, but I hate when anyone or anything touches my nose!
Due to the fact that my contractions were so painful, I thought for sure I would be extremely close to 10cm dilated. However, at that point, I only measured 3cm. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing – ONLY 3CM?
They decided they would send us upstairs to the birthing room and told us what options we had. Inductions are often scheduled because of some reason that the parents have or if there is a medical emergency but without those you cannot have one unless you are at least 39 weeks. Luckily, I had just hit 39 weeks so they were allowing an induction. In my mind, it was an emergency because I just couldn’t handle the pain anymore. I kept thinking to myself, “are contractions supposed to be this painful?” Part of me thought that I was just overreacting and maybe I should’ve exercised more during pregnancy.
When my husband and I started discussing the options for labor, I had first said I didn’t want any drugs until I couldn’t handle the pain anymore. When we arrived, the nurses asked all about my wishes during my stay and I couldn’t say epidural fast enough! Never would I have thought I would want it the very moment I got to the hospital and only at 3cm…
Finally, one of the nurses took us up to our birthing room to get me prepped for induction. All of a sudden there were several nurses and doctors coming in and out of the room; things were happening. I had one nurse giving me an IV on my left arm and asking me clinical questions. I had a phlebotomist drawing blood from my right arm where he had to stick me twice because the first one didn’t work. Then, in front of me was the anesthesiologist attempting to explain all the details regarding the epidural. I don’t think he took a breath once during his explanation. He walked behind me to begin the process to which I still had the other two nurses talking or doing things to me as well as contractions happening every 5 minutes. The epidural wasn’t bad. The initial poke (the numbing needle) was just like any other needle stick. To me, the part that was most uncomfortable was when he put in the tube but the discomfort didn’t last long. Soon after the epidural was in place they had to insert the urinary catheter. I was a bit worried about this one but because my bottom half was already numb, it was done before I could say what was going on? Honestly, I thought it was kind of cool to be going to the bathroom but not feeling it or needing to get up; silver lining.
Ugh, finally all of the set-up was complete. I’ve never been a fan of the doctor’s office, hospitals, clinics, and definitely not the dentist so, it was all extremely overwhelming and nerve-racking. After all of that, the nurse had to explain to me the induction process. It was easy. All they had to do was introduce oxytocin into my system through my IV and periodically increase it which would help with the dilation process. At about half way dilated they broke my bag of waters (yes, it’s plural). According to my doctor, my bag of waters was extremely thick and strong; makes me think that it was never going to break without help.
The nurses came in and out of the room every hour checking on us and the doctor came in every 2 hours. We had several different nurses but only 2 or 3 different doctors. I’m not sure why I thought prior to all of this that we’d have 1 nurse and 1 doctor the entire time; another naïve thought. I tried to remember everyone but we interacted with so many people it was hard to keep track.
So, from my waist down I was completely numb because of the epidural. It works via gravity bathing the nerves in your spinal cord, so I was required to lay on one side and be flipped to the other side every hour or so. The other fact about the epidural was that I couldn’t eat or drink anything besides clear fluids and jello. I knew this going in but it was harder than I expected which I’ll explain later.
Since the doctor had to come in every 2 hours or so, this was the time that she checked the dilation of my cervix. I was relieved that my dilation was increasing each time. We came into the hospital at 3cm and for every two hours after it increased by 2cm! It felt amazing knowing that everything was progressing and I didn’t even feel a thing. At this point, I was obsessed with the epidural. I felt nothing and it was glorious. The machines I was hooked up on would tell us when I was having a contraction and the nurse would ask me if I felt it and I said, ‘I feel nothing!’ with a huge smile.
Zach and I were able to get some shut eye for a few 30min stretches here and there. I was able to eat some jello and drink water. I was relaxed and felt excited for the next steps. We asked the nurse about how the pushing would feel since my entire lower half was numb how are you able to push? She explained it the best that she could; you’ll feel pressure. I was nervous but mostly curious and hoped it was less painful then the contractions prior to the epidural.
When the doctor came in for another dilation check she reported I was at 9.5cm! What a relief! How exciting! I’m almost there! False. Unfortunately, this last 1/2 cm took another 2 hours and in order to get there I first needed to remain lying on side to help the dilation progress. Due to this, my entire left side began to get all of its feeling back. I was on the edge of passing out with pain. Zach had to run out of the room to get a nurse because we didn’t know what was happening and why the pain was coming back. Nurse came back and flipped me to my left side so fast that I knew they had left me on my right side for too long. Oofta.
After the oxytocin (induction) sped things up they started to decrease the amount as we got closer to 10cm. However, since the last 1/2cm was being so difficult they had to increase it again to help it along. By this point, I started to feel the pressure they were referring to and I could also feel the pain when they checked the dilation. Thus, they asked the anesthesiologist to come back and give me a higher dose of the epidural as well as add in another drug. I shouldn’t have been feeling what was happening but they said because I had been on the drug since 1:30am (it had now been 12 hours) that my body was beginning to get used to it and started wearing off. You would think that if you are only a 1/2cm away that it would go quickly but it didn’t and I was being forced to not push. Since I felt the pressure to want to push it was extremely hard not to. My doctor told me not to push until I was at 10cm because it could result in labor complications.
Pushing Time
Ok, it’s 2:30pm and I was finally cleared to push. People say nothing prepares you for parenthood but I’m going to roll that back and say nothing prepares you properly for labor. I’m not sure why prior to this moment I thought labor was going to be a breeze. Perhaps it’s because I always thought my pain tolerance was pretty high. I now know that is completely incorrect.
When the doctor and nurse are explaining to you exactly what to do, you truly think you know what you’re doing when in fact (at least for me) you are doing the very opposite. At the height of the contraction you breathe in deep, push and hold your breath for 10 seconds and release. Ok, now do that two more times within the same contraction. It sounds easy right? Let me just tell you I couldn’t make it through 3 seconds of the first push of 10 seconds. Remember how I told you that with an epidural you were not allowed to eat or drink anything besides clear liquids or jello? Well, the pushing process took so much out of me that I had nothing left to give. I was weak, tired and confused to say the least. I hadn’t eaten since the night before and let’s just say it wasn’t an energy boosting meal. I also didn’t know what I was doing wrong and I couldn’t understand how to fix it.
At about one and a half hours of pushing my doctor started to tell me about specific options we had; she believed that I wasn’t really getting anywhere. So, I was told that I could have a c-section, or opt for vacuum- or forceps-assisted birth. Another hour went by of pushing and she came to me with the options again except this time she said that at the rate it was going I could be in need of an emergency c-section. She said pushing typically lasts 1-3 hours and that if this took any longer baby and I could be in danger.
At about 3 hours of pushing baby’s heart rate and my blood pressure had increased indicating the possibility of infection. The doctor came in again to ask what option I was going to choose and I told myself that having a c-section and using forceps were out of the question. Thus, I decided the vacuum assistance was the best option. However, I was told that if I chose to use the vacuum, I had to push for the 10 seconds (3 times) and if I didn’t the option would fail leading to an emergency c-section. Lying on the bed, hearing these things, and knowing that I was failing at labor really puts a lot of pressure on you. Remember, I had not eaten so, pushing for such a long time with no energy was near impossible.
Then, Zach thought of the brilliant idea to give me apple juice. I know it sounds silly but there was something about getting a little bit of sugar in my system that helped me push. Zach, the apple juice, and me telling myself ‘I don’t want a c-section’ and screaming ‘come on baby’ were the only things that got me to do what needed to be done. The doctor who does the vacuum procedure began the process but then… his shoulder got stuck and all the glitter in the air fell to the floor and the room got silent. If I didn’t focus the rest of the birth would end in bad news. Ok, I’m squeezing Zach’s hand, staring dead into my doctors eyes and doing exactly what she told me to do. A few moments later, baby boy was on my chest, I cried and then they took him away to get cleaned up.
So to recap, I had false or pre-labor for 36 hours, active or transitional labor for 12 hours and pushed for 4.5 hours. Baby boy was born on January 5th, 2021 at 7:01pm. We survived. Oh yea, I forgot to mention that one of my biggest fears in life is not making it through labor to see my child but we did. August was a perfect 7lbs 13 oz happy and healthy baby. Zach got to cut the cord and watched him get washed up and weighed. He was with me the entire way holding my hand, encouraging me to keep going and never once giving up on me. Birthing a child is extremely difficult. Perhaps my experience was harder than most or perhaps it was easier and it could’ve been worse. The bottom line is it was a moment in my life that I will never forget but I’m not going to lie that I hope my next labor isn’t as difficult.
Immediately After Labor
I’ve decided I’m going to put together a post about my postpartum experience but I wanted to just touch on a few things post birth. Lots of people talk about how beautiful giving birth is. I’m obsessed with my little boy but my birth experience was definitely not beautiful. I’m thrilled, happy and overjoyed with the fact that Zach and I were able to create life but it’s hard work. After August was delivered, they showed us the bruising that he had on his head from the vacuum. I would never recommend the vacuum technique to any new mama. It was extremely painful and when his shoulders got stuck that prolonged the pain. I also felt so bad because of his bruise on his head all because I couldn’t do the pushing fast enough. I had a great deal of guilt.
While August was getting cleaned up – the doctor who performed the vacuum started to stitch me up; I had 3rd degree tears. This is where I wish I would have exercised more and continued my Kegels but… I didn’t. It’s probable that I would have torn anyway but perhaps it would have been less. The nurses also push on your stomach directly after birth to birth your placenta. Then, during your hospital stay they periodically push on your stomach to get your check on your uterus and to make sure it goes back to normal. Labor was out of this world painful to me so, when they were sewing me up and pushing on my tummy I didn’t really care that much because it was nothing compared to that!
I had mentioned above my tip about putting in a secondary contact person on file. Well, we had gotten so many messages from our family trying to see how we were doing. During such a long labor process Zach and I were (mostly) unable to reach out to our parents to let them know that we were ok. I mean, I’m in labor and not thinking about texting or calling people and Zach was right there with me. Unfortunately, when our parents were calling the hospital the receptionist wouldn’t release any information on us, not even to say that we were ok. The nurse did come in and say that both my mom and Zach’s mom had been calling but we couldn’t do anything about it. It had appeared that when we filled out our secondary contact info at the clinic that, that information did not transfer to the hospital. They also did not ask us about our HIPAA preferences when we first checked in. Thus, our parents were very worried about us. So, I recommend making sure that this is on your to-do list when you first arrive at the hospital! I won’t be making that mistake again for my next baby.
In Conclusion
Everyone left the room and by everyone I mean the 17 thousand people I had in the birthing room. Never would I had thought that I’d have to show my goods to that many people. It’s a good thing that when you’re in that much pain you really don’t care who sees what. Zach and I had this baby in our arms. What just happened? The nursed asked me if I wanted something to eat. She listed off a few things and I heard her say turkey sandwich and I couldn’t say yes fast enough! I always said that my first meal I was going to have was going to be a Milios turkey sandwich and this was as close as I could get <3. We cleaned up our stuff, picked up our bags, got me and baby in a wheel chair and headed up to the postpartum room. We were officially parents.
I want to say thank you SO MUCH for reading about my birth story. I know it was long and may not have been the most uplifting but sometimes, you have to shed light on the imperfection in the world. Fortunate for me, my rough road got me to have the most perfect little boy and I will forever be grateful for that.
Are you pregnant or know someone who is and need help with your hospital bag? Check out my post on: What You Should Really Pack in Your Hospital Bag
Oh mama that’s a rough labor! I’ve had 5 and it’s always a bit unexpected. If you’re dealing with postpartum trauma I encourage you to keep talking about it! I also want you to know that your next birth doesn’t have to be like this!
Thank you for your comment! Yes, I cannot help but talk about it! I’m hoping and praying my next labor isn’t like this however, at least I know what types of things to expect now even if it is a little different!
[…] 2021. If you’re looking to read about his birth story you can check it out here –> August’s Birth Story. At about a month prior, I started deciding what I wanted to bring – in case I needed to […]